Laura’s reflections from the March 2010 Redemption Group Immersion…

I have sought redemption before…only to be disappointed. I wanted redemption my way. Although I never wanted any part of my healing to be without Christ, I was leaving the Cross behind. I was asking God to fit into my equation for redemption.

After going through the rich material in Redemption Group, I was humbled first and foremost by the immense love of my Savior. He gently exposed my equations for redemption. He then softened my heart to the shame I have been trapped in since a woman within my church molested me as a teenager.

The only way I can describe my life of shame is that I was frozen inside of an ice cube. As days passed, the ice cube grew larger, safely guarding me from those around me and from my Savior. People could still see me and I could still relate to people. I became adept at allowing people to think they knew me while staying safely distanced. This ice cube left my soul weary, my heart embittered and every part of me disillusioned.

From the inside looking out, this ice cube gave me a very distorted lens through which I viewed everything. I hated myself for the sin someone committed against me. I saw God’s Word as a source of bondage—for she used Scripture to justify the wrong she committed against me. This shame that enslaved me manifested itself as feelings of depression, despair and hopelessness. I had forgiven my perpetrator; I had invested much energy and many tears in the healing process. However, I believed that I was as whole as I would probably ever be.

Then my Savior stepped in and melted the layers of shame, despair and deception. With his brilliant light and radiant love, he melted all of the ice that surrounded me. He gave me the courage to be in His presence, naked and unashamed. Jesus took my shame upon Him in His death. In allowing Him to take my shame, I can put my hope fully in my God. It was not the experience of Redemption Groups that brought redemption, but experiencing my risen Redeemer.

Below is the psalm Laura wrote during the Redemption Group Immersion.

I have spent the first 25 years of my life telling you—my creator–how you created me wrongly and what simple changes you could make or simply help me to make to bring redemption. I even bartered with you, promising you your share of Glory.

But you, Oh God are not simply the God of my youth who offers empty hope and abuse. You are the God of me today—offering true hope, lasting change and real peace.

See my definitions of purity, beauty, wholeness and peace miss you and circumvent the cross. My disillusionment is because of my definitions—not your character.

My created world of walls and expectations that only kept me from you were my attempt to string together fig leaves to hide my shameful body. I take off these leaves and stand before you, my God—naked and unashamed and ask for Your garment of righteousness.

Joel explains how God showed up at the March 2010 Redemption Group Immersion…

I went into this past week’s Redemption Group Immersion with a strong, ugly sense of older brother pride. I stocked up my work bag with brochures and business cards, bringing five years of professional counseling experience and success, viewing my presence as a “gift” to the participants in the training. What a shock to realize that God had different plans for me; his desire was to wreck me, to change my mind and my heart, to heal me, and to restore me to full confidence in his record and not in my own. I’ve narrowed down some specific places in my life that God worked this week to restore me back in line with the truth of the Gospel:

1. My battle with shame, covering myself with good works and my “nice guy” identity
2. My automatic “judgment” of younger brothers and jealousy of their stories of redemption
3. My small box that I “allow” God to work within, living as a “functional deist”
4. My story in the context of God’s redemptive story: Is the climax of my life the cross/resurrection or my self-actualization? Am I a glory-thief?
5. The Holy Spirit’s conviction and pointing to truth instead of lies
6. The community of faith – fellow partakers of God’s grace in the moment
7. My emotions are a tool that God can work with, not a hindrance. The glory of God can come through my emotional engagement with people.
8. The outworking my deeper sense of God’s love and forgiveness–my marriage, my parenting, my job, etc. etc. etc.

Last week, God’s grace enabled me to insert real-time forgiveness right in the moment of condemnation. In the midst of my realization of sin (older-brother pride), I experienced God’s lavish grace in Christ–a foolish, undeserved grace that he showers on me. And he covered my sin, not haunting me with a sense of not repenting deeply enough, or that I had to do something to pay him back. Lord have mercy on me, the sinner.

Natalie’s reflections from the March 2010 Redemption Group Immersion…

God talked to me a lot about his leadership during this Redemption Group Immersion. I felt honored to be asked to co-lead a group but felt nervous, too. To be honest, I was afraid of messing up, of saying something wrong, of misleading people in my ignorance or sin. I was paired with a leader who had co-led my original RG almost two years ago, and our gifts, styles, and stories are very different. Together we led our group awkwardly, stumbling through disagreements at the start and repentance of our sin as the week continued. It was incredibly sweet to see God unify us and lead us.

It was on Wednesday morning that the Holy Spirit showed me that I was thinking too highly of myself, that specifically I was thinking I was a better leader, further along in something, than my co-leader. He broke my heart as he revealed that I actually thought this toward him–that I didn’t like his leadership and thought I could do better. The rest of the week involved confessing and repenting of this over and over, as he gave me chance after chance to trust him and admire him instead of myself. It was truly lovely to see him at work.

I am stunned by his perfect timing, knowing, loving, speaking, and doing in the lives of the women in our group, in the lives of everyone. He instructs, warns, comforts, and heals each of us with a gorgeous precision and stunning intimacy. Oh the stories of his love and faithfulness that we heard! God made much of himself this week, as he led me to himself with so many others. He graciously didn’t let me be a great leader while he showed himself to be the Great Leader.

Now that it’s over, my Father keeps talking to me about how he loves: today he showed me, again, that my fear of failing and falling are based in my desire for some of his glory, and in a distrust of his future grace. He will show me grace whenever I fail, whenever I sin, as well as when I obey—any obedience of mine is also his grace. I am shocked anew by the cross that has ministered such miracles to me!

Nathan at CORE Community in Omaha, NE, shares how the work God started at the March 2010 Redemption Group Immersion is going forward:

Thank you for the kindness and generosity you showed to us while at the Immersion. God has used that kindness to bless me, our church and the whole city of Omaha. My church, Core Community, just finished our first round of Redemption Groups. We put all of our community group leaders and many of the deacons through it. I got to be one of the leaders. It is incredible how God has worked in our leaders and in our church through the Redemption Groups. Lives have been changed, marriages transformed and hearts healed. Much of what we learned and experienced out at the Immersion has already multiplied many times over here in Omaha. Because of all of the good reports coming out of our first go around with the groups, many other churches in Omaha want us to train their leaders as well. Pretty cool.

Reflections after the March 2010 Redemption Group Immersion…

Anonymous

I attended the conference thinking I would be going through training, but the Holy Spirit revealed areas of my life that needed redemption. Now I feel that my attendance was as much for personal redemption as being trained to lead a redemption group.

Curt

The RG Immersion experience was a challenging experience of transformation. Redemption is a profound and expansive truth that changes lives when one experiences such truth with the Holy Spirit and with sincere Christians who are both honest and thirsty themselves.

Leif

I came into RG Immersion not knowing what to expect but quickly learned that you’ll get out of the group as much as you put in. The Gospel is needed in every part of our lives–that is the only way for true change. A gospel-saturated heart and repentance from sin is true transformation.

Elliot

I have never seen the Holy Spirit poured out so generously and so obviously in a solidly reformed and charismaniac-free enviroment. No Christian could possibly attend without seeing and knowing that Jesus is still alive and still freeing his people from bondage to sin.